Mother's Intuition

My wife, Rylea, is very stubborn. This is one of the reasons I love her. When she knows she’s right (which is quite often) she will stand by her convictions. The only problem with this is that I am the same way, except I will defend my position even if I know I am wrong just to win a fight. Rylea knows this, and will often use it to her advantage.

Now that you have a brief glimpse into our marriage, I want to talk about the day we found out about Grant’s epilepsy. 

In early March 2013, I had just been laid off from my job. It was a Friday, and as I have learned from the movie Office Space, most lay-offs happen on Fridays to avoid any workplace incidents.  I honestly had to bite my tongue not to say “thank you” when it happened because I was working 80+ hours a week and I really didn’t enjoy the job. I guess that is my lesson learned for taking a job just for the money.    

A few weeks before the lay-off, Rylea had expressed some concern to me about Grant and his development. I had brushed it off as 1) all kids are different and 2) the fact that she was 6-7 months pregnant with our 3^rd and she was hormonal (Yes, an insensitive typical male reaction). She had decided to have a conference with teachers at his preschool. During this conference, they had noticed some things that he wasn’t doing such as interacting with other children well, making eye contact, and reacting to his name. Another thing they noticed was that he was sleeping quite a bit. This is a normal activity early in the year as the majority of the kids in his class still took mid-morning naps. But, nearly 3/4^ths  through the year, Grant was still sleeping 45 minutes to an hour a day in class and it’s only a 3 hour program. Rylea had also noticed Grant doing what she had called a head drop.

The conference took place the same day I was laid-off.  When I got home, Rylea told me about the conference and that she was really concerned about Grant. I tried to assuage some these concerns by ignorantly telling her Grant was not Cole and all kids are different. I say I said this ignorantly because she is a teacher at the boys’ preschool and has seen tons of kids between the ages of 6 months to 4 years old. She knows very well that all kids are different.

Rylea was adamant that there was something seriously wrong with Grant. Over the course of the weekend, we had numerous discussions, some heated, over her concerns with Grant. This is where her stubbornness kicked in. She continually brought up the subject of Grant’s head drops. I had finally given on the fact that there is something wrong with Grant, I was still in denial about the seriousness, but we had decided to make an appointment with the pediatrician the following Monday.

Over the course of the weekend, Rylea discovered the internet can be your best friend but also your worst enemy. Her worst fears were that Grant was autistic, while this had entered my mind, I refused to accept it. Rylea then told me she thought Grant may be having seizures. The only knowledge I had of seizures were ones I had seen on TV or the movies; the ones where someone is convulsing on the ground and foaming at the mouth and you have shove your wallet in their mouth to keep them from swallowing their tongue (which is not what you should do, I have now learned).  So when Rylea brought up seizures, I was extremely skeptical. The conversation went a little like this:

Me: Grant isn’t having seizures.

Rylea: I really think he is, I think the head drop he does are seizures.

Me: Why are you obsessed with the head drop thing?

Rylea: Because there something seriously wrong with him and think that is part of it.

Me: Kids do quirky things.

Rylea: I know, but that just doesn’t seem right, something is seriously wrong.

Me: It’s not that bad, you are focused on a little quirk.

Rylea: No I am not! I really think he is having seizures, look at this video I found online…

Me: Are you serious?! You really need to stay off the internet. It only makes you worry more.

Rylea: I know, but something is wrong with Grant.

Me: We will make an appointment on Monday, until then, please stay off the internet.
Rylea: Okay. (continues to browse the internet)

The following Monday, I made an appointment with Grant’s pediatrician. I showed him a video I took of Grant and the head drop (click here to see the video I showed the doctor). I showed him the video partly to alleviate Rylea’s fears that there wasn’t anything that seriously wrong with Grant and partly to be right for once. Well, once again, I was wrong. The pediatrician saw the video and said that he wanted Grant to see a neurologist as soon as possible. We were able to get an appointment with a neurologist the very next day. I showed them the video and he had a series of head drops in the office. Once the neurologist saw the video and witnessed in the office a few head drops, Grant was immediately put on a medication and other tests were scheduled. Thus began his current journey.

What I learned from this was that Rylea is always right, especially when comes to our children. She may be stubborn to a fault sometimes, but a mother always knows. Especially a mother as good as Rylea.