Big Brother

This past week, while Rylea and Emery have been with Grant in Cincinnati to get his testing, I have been able to spend some quality time with Cole and it got me thinking about big brothers. I have a big brother who is 2 1/2 years older than me, and technically I am a big brother. I say technically because I am a twin and I am 5 minutes older than my brother. But the relationship I share with my twin is far from the typical big brother-little brother relationship. That is a different story.

It seems to me that big brothers (and big sisters for that matter) are instilled with a parental sense to protect their siblings. I have witnessed this firsthand. My brothers and I had an ill-fated experiment a little over 10 years ago where we decided to all move in to a house together. The last time we all lived together was when we lived with our parents back in high school. So, in our early/mid twenties, we decided to rent a house and live together.

It did not take long for old rivalries to emerge. My older brother's protective nature (at least that is what I am calling it) emerged. He and my twin would often get in to arguments that would devolve into my twin brother saying "okay dad " and walk away. I was working full-time and in school full-time during this little experience so I had little interaction with either during that period. Also, my room was in the basement, so I had an easy getaway. My whole point is my brother’s protectiveness over us.

Grant has an older brother, Cole. Cole is the sweetest kid I have ever met. Even at the tender age of 4, he already thinks of other people before he thinks of himself. One of the biggest challenges Rylea and I faced in relation to Grant was trying to explain to Cole what was going on, especially in terms he could understand. 

Little did we know, he already understood with a maturity well beyond his years. We explained to Cole that Grant was sick and he may be sick for a while. He told us that he knew Grant was not well and asked what was wrong with him. We explained the best we could about Grant's seizures. 

In the months since, he has become Grant’s biggest protector. When Grant has had a seizure, and neither Rylea nor I were in the room to see it, he would come tell us that Grant had a seizure. He will stop Grant from wandering into the street when they are playing in the front yard. And he makes sure the gates are closed at the top and bottom of the stairs so Grant doesn't fall.

Another place where Cole has shown his protective spirit is with Rylea and me. During the beginning of this, Rylea and I were often emotional. Whenever we would see Grant have a seizure, we would pick him up and cuddle with him and ask ourselves when this will all be over. If the seizure was especially bad, such as when we would see him hit his head or he would make a noise we have never heard, Rylea or I would cry while comforting Grant. If Cole saw this he would say "It's going to be okay, Grant Grant is going to get better" (Cole refers to Grant as Grant Grant) and give us a big hug.

There is one thing that Cole has said and still makes tear-up as I write this. During the first trip to Cincinnati Children's Hospital with Grant, Rylea was home with Emery and Cole. Emery was about 2 weeks old and Rylea was rocking him. Cole came up to Rylea and said "Mommy you're sad because your heart is broken, your heart is broken over Grant Grant." He then hugged her.  

I would like to attribute this trait of Cole’s to his upbringing, but then again I guess it may come down to the innate nature of being a big brother. The best big brother Grant and Emery could ever hope to have.